


Accept Thy Hand

by CelticPixie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Post-Canon Fix-It, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:47:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26353657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelticPixie/pseuds/CelticPixie
Summary: “...love, all at once and much, much too completely. It's like you suddenly turn a blinding light on something that had always been half a shadow...”― Tennessee Williams, A Streetcar Named Desire and Other Plays
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 5
Kudos: 19
Collections: Reylo Smutember 2020, Smutember 2020, reylo trash





	Accept Thy Hand

**Author's Note:**

> Smutember was created for a whole bunch of Reylo smut and this is my contribution. A little late but better than never right? I hope this works out. I really do. It took me some time to think this one up—one of the biggest reasons I wasn’t able to get this posted in time. Apologies :( Inspiration comes from LOST and Lucifer for this little diddy :) My prompt was "First Time"

Why is she even here?

A question she has been asking herself for nearly an hour now. Poe was fine; she assured herself of that. Ben, on the other hand—well, he had looked worse. She could chalk it up to another pointless argument as all the others before but this one was different.

Leia was dead. Poe accused Ben of not caring. Ben reciprocated with a mean right hook. Rey supposes that is how it all started.

Hearing of yet another fisticuffs between them had Rey rolling her eyes.

She supposed her entire reason of being here was to give Ben another scolding. If he were to meld in with the Resistance, he need learn how to mesh with everyone and that included the acting general.

~

_The Falcon’s main power source – a Quadex power core -- needed some tweaking. This is what she did: using distraction as a form of escaping strong and unpleasant emotions._

_It seemed pretty clear that taking her mind off such intense emotions was helpful. It started with a simple backward count but then her focus was her environment which so happened to be the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon._

_Leia meant a lot to her. Everything, actually. The General wasn’t just a leader for the Resistance--she was a friend, a mentor, and so much more the princess wasn’t even aware of. Rey was just so elusive with her emotions that she never opened herself up to more than just a padawan under Leia’s tutelage. Perhaps this is a reason she was feeling so low and why she felt the need to distract herself._

_It would have gone as intended had she not overheard raised voices coming from the outside. Rey thought nothing of it until Rose was running in and going on about a fight in the main hanger._

~

They told her Ben was in the cells. So that’s where she went. Connix told her not to bother approaching. But she did. Against her own inhibitions, she approached.

And all he did was look at her; “Oh look at that,” he quipped, mockingly, “I figured it would only be a matter of time before you knew. Word travels fast.” Ben dabbed at his bloody nose with the only piece of white cloth they gave him.

“What is this, Ben?” Her arms cross across her chest, her eyes narrow.

He scoffs. “Exactly what it looks like, Rey. Your pilot there punched me on the face.” His nose wasn’t bleeding as badly anymore and he already verified it wasn’t broken. He probably would have broken more than just a bone or two had he and the pilot not been interrupted.

“You’re reckless. Y-You.. you’re irresponsible! I mean, _why?_ ”

“To be fair, he threw the first punch.” Just like him. Trying to place the blame elsewhere instead of where it belonged. “I merely defended myself…”

“Don’t,” she warned, taking a dangerous step closer, “don’t you _dare_ for one second try to divert blame. Maybe if you actually showed initiative at trying to be accepted—” She was cut off.

Ben tossed the rag down rather violently. “I am!”

“Then prove it! Prove it me, and everyone else here, instead of picking fights left and right. No one here trusts you and I am _trying_ to get them to. How am I supposed to do that now?”

“I don’t know. You’ll figure it out.”

Rey rolled her eyes.

The man embodied conflict. He spent so much of his life trying to bury what remained of Ben Solo – all to become Kylo Ren – that Rey even wondered if he remembered anything of his old self. All those painful memories and emotions channeled into pure, blinding rage.

Sometimes she wondered…

Now he was avoiding looking at her. He must have found some spot on the floor to fixate at. She contemplated leaving him here with all of his self-pity.

Sighing, Rey dropped her gaze. “Your mother, she—she was training me. I know--”

“Shut up!” He snapped, his head shooting up, his eyes finding that one spot on her face where her eyes were and then his own narrowed—harshly narrowed. “Do not—do not even _speak_ of her…” Ben’s voice was threatening to break. Slowly, his hands pushed him upwards until he stood then he only needed one giant stride to be standing directly in front of her.

Rey’s eyes widened briefly. There may be a set of bars separating them but his hulking frame still towered above her. It was still very much intimidating. But she knew better than to let him know that. “You think you’re the only one dealing with this right now? The only one hurting? She meant a lot to people. To Poe, to Finn, to me—to everyone in the Resistance! What Leia stood for.. that—that means something!” For just a second, she saw a flash of rage in Ben’s eyes. “I don’t think your pain is any less than ours. I know you feel it more.”

“You don’t know anything!”

“Don’t I? My parents _abandoned_ me, Ben. I grew up not knowing where or when my next meal was coming. You have parents who loved you, who cared about you. Leia wasn’t just a mentor to me.” Realizing she was starting to cry again, Rey quickly dabbed away her tears. “I know this is hard for you to accept and I’m trying so hard to be patient with you but Ben—I… I don’t know how to help you anymore.”

She should leave him be. Before she started crying again. Leia’s death, Ben’s continued self-hatred—it was all too much for her right now.

Ben exhaled. “You are right. You can’t help me. No one can help me.” He turned away from the edge of the cell, walking towards the other wall. “My mother sent me away because she couldn’t help me and thought Luke of all people could. But then he betrayed me. Regardless if he was going to kill me or not, the thought was there. That has to mean something. But Rey—” Before reaching the wall, Ben turned. He faced her; “—I was being manipulated this whole time. I never had complete control. Not once. Snoke toyed with me. He knew I was emotionally vulnerable. He used that against me. Made me hate everything and everyone… including myself. I never hated either of my parents. There’s so many things I wish I could take back but I—I can’t…”

He pressed his back against the wall and slowly slumped to the floor, tugging his knees in up to his chest. At this point, he purposely avoided her again. It wasn’t the bruised lip or the sprained wrist that bothered him—it was the tears dotting his face and that horrible guilt in his heart.

Then he heard something. The jingle of the cell door. Surprised, his eyes snapped over to see Rey fidgeting with the lock itself.

“Wh.. wait. N-No… don’t…” He started to push himself up, started to move towards the door, to stop her, to tell her that he deserved to be in here and _she_ shouldn’t be—but then the door creaked open and she walked in.

Rey left the door ajar; no one was coming. “You think spending all that time on Jakku never taught me how to pick a lock?” She almost felt proud of herself for that. If she knew she wouldn’t be getting hell for it later, she would allow herself just a moment to smirk at her accomplishment. “You may be right. You can’t take back everything but you can help yourself by moving forwards.”

“I’ve destroyed so much. I wouldn’t even know where to begin.” Ben smirked but saw that her face had remained unpassable so he frowned. “Why do you care so much about what happens to me? I already know where I’m going when this is through.” Did she really think they wouldn’t execute him for war crimes? It’s better that she distance herself now. She already walked away from him before.

Instead, she stayed. “I’m sure you recall Ahch-To,” she stated, “when we touched hands. And you were the one who claimed I would be the one to turn. I saw you, Ben. Not Kylo Ren— _you_. And I saw hope.”

“You and I both know there is no hope for me.”

“Why would you even say that?”

“Because—” He sighed, surrendering to his emotions, “—because there isn’t a person here who believes in me enough to give me hope.”

What she uttered next surprised even her. “I do. I care.”

They shared a moment where she stared at him and he stared right back, his gaze longing and curious and full of doubt. She shouldn’t care about him. She shouldn’t be giving him the hope he believed he didn’t deserve. Allow him to be alone with his self-loathing; he deserved nothing better.

Rey searched his face. All corners of it. From his forehead down to his mouth and then his chin. The Force itself couldn’t explain what she did next.

She reached for him. He didn’t move an inch. When she kissed him, it surprised them both. Ben didn’t quite know how to respond. For just a second, he was completely stilled. But well aware of his elevated heartrate. And when she eventually broke away, he did nothing. He just stared at her as if totally obvious of the kiss she had just given him.

But then his voice did indeed return; “…what was that for?”

“I, I don’t know… “ She definitely couldn’t explain it. Her actions. That kiss.

~

_There she was. There he was. Inside the hut—together. She had felt his force signature even before stepping inside but she didn’t feel frightened or confused. Instead, she felt comforted._

_She spoke of the cave and he listened intently even if that face of his remained impassive._

_“..I never felt so alone…” Her voice—it almost broke._

_It was Kylo, not Ben, who spoke. “You’re not alone.” His voice was firm. He was insistent._

_“Neither are you.” No one would convince her otherwise but she knew she was seeing Ben Solo in that moment, not this persona of Kylo Ren. “…it’s not too late.”_

_She tentatively raised her hand towards his, not knowing if their hands would go straight through each other or not but it was surprising when their fingers actually did touch._

_She gasped. He felt a shutter go through him._

_There was this jolt of energy, like lightning passing between their conjoined hands. She was seeing things she never thought she would see. The Force must be doing this. It must be allowing her to observe some kind of future where it wasn’t Kylo Ren she was seeing but Ben Solo—the man he used to be. The one she believed in her heart was still buried deep within him somewhere._

~

Ben quickly realized he enjoyed kisses. Especially when they involved her. They both went in for a second one only to hear what sounded like commotion just outside the cells—which weren’t _actually_ cells; more like storage units for hanger parts.

It was Rey who suggested; “Um, maybe we should—I guess I, um, well… I should go…”

“Right. Yes.” He walked her turn to leave and with it, swallowed that dull ache in his throat. He wanted more. Much more. But she was leaving. “Goodbye…”

“Yes. Um… right…”

Her hand barely touched the door before she was looking at him again. Searching his face. There was something there in her belly. Such churning desire. She felt a pull she’d never experienced before. That kiss—it did something magical.

She wanted more. She _needed_ more.

They came together once more. With vigor. With passionate. With all forms of reserves dropped. They gave into compulsion. Ben cupped her jaw. Rey explored his face. Their hands would occasionally brush over the others before dropping low.

He spun her around until he could walk her backward into a work bench. It was so effortless to swoop her up and drop her down atop it. Once again he was towering above her.

Ben captured her mouth again. It was passion. It was heat. And she couldn’t get enough of it. Rey reached for his body as assault of her voluptuous lips continued. She pulled and tugged at his sweater. It was frustratingly difficult to remove. So he did it for her. Somehow between the sound of his sweater smacking the hard floor and her next breath, he had her in his arms again. Rey’s legs circled around his waist. She gasped, nearly wincing, when her back met the wall after he pushed her into it. The pain was brief.

Opportunity presented itself. So Ben took it. Grasping her hand, he led her over to another bench, this one bigger than the first. One swoop had knocked everything off onto the floor. Surely someone would have heard that. He wasn’t considering it when he laid down and she crawled atop him. His arms became sprawled out on either side of his face. Their fingers interlocked. She leaned in, pressing multiple kisses to his mouth and then to his chin and then his neck where the vein beneath his neck pumped warm blood. It was beating hard, vibrating against the coolness of her lips.

Rey sat up briefly. It was only so that she could marvel in the amazingness of his sculpted body. Her hands reached for his chest. Her fingers snaked out, exploring every angle. She dragged her hands further and further down his torso until they found his waistband. She tugged at it. She needed to feel him—all of him. Rey’s hands pushed beneath it and even further beneath the fabric that covered him.

With raspy breath, Ben flipped her over onto her back and once again began making love to her mouth. His hands became too preoccupied with trying to remove her tunic. It was one piece of fabric too many in his opinion but he eventually managed to get enough of it off to expose her naked body. _Almost_ naked. Rey normally kept her breasts covered. Ben tore at this binding with his teeth. The exposure to the open air nearly caused a shiver. His left hand traversed her body from shoulder to groin. She gasped when he touched her. She had never been touched there before. It was such a new sensation. His fingers began rubbing at her delicate bud. She rasped his name.

Ben rid himself off his trousers and undergarments fairly quickly. Her hips jolted upwards to meet him. When he slid into her, Rey was seeing stars. He buried himself deep inside, allowing her to swallow him up fully, and only then did he begin to move. It was gradual, at first, as they both gave themselves time to get accustomed to this new sensation. Once they did—oh _force_ ; new realms of pleasure.

He figured this is how it was done. He could only guess this is how it should be. Yet making love to Rey felt entirely different than what he had envisioned. There was so much of the way her body responded every time he would thrust that would make his mind explode. And he kept going. The more she was receptive, the more he moved, and then his hand would find that sensitive spot between her legs again. Rey couldn’t contain the groaning, and the moaning, and the way she was calling out his name could have him spent.

She grasped at her own breasts, rubbing at her nipples. She was playing with herself. It turned him on even more and no amount of such could cease the way his hips wildly bucked against her center. Rey kept rasping his name over and over again. Her chest would rise and fall and then his mouth would droop from peppering her with shameless kisses to licking at her nipples. There was such wanton desire swimming in his eyes.

Their hands found themselves together. Fingers interlocked. They began to open their minds up to the Force, allowing it to call them in. Ben flipped over onto his back but never once broke his stride. He bucked up into her again and again. Rey pushed his arms above his head. She sat back, moving her hips against him this way and that. She dragged his hands to the bone of her hips where she gripped tightly whilst riding out her orgasm. Rey continued this motion until Ben had peaked.

Nearly breathless, she stared down into his face; “Alright, I think you’ve made you point…” She chuckled, and he chuckled, and then she pressed a kiss to his mouth and another to his chest.

“Oh, good,” Ben muttered with a laugh, “I’m glad we agree on something at least.”

Rey moved off him. Still trying to catch her breath, she curled up beside him, combing her hair over her left shoulder. “I didn’t think it would be so—” He interrupted.

“—so mind blowing?”

“I was going to say perfect but yes… mind blowing.” She kissed his chest. “I’ve never done that before…”

Ben twisted his head to look at her. “Can I tell you a secret? Neither have I.” He could have started laughing at the expression her face was making just then.

“Wait…” she propped herself up on her elbow, “…you must have had others before right?” When he shook his head in response, Rey nearly chuckled—slightly nervously though. “I never would have guessed you were a maid just as I was.” Her nose rubbed against his shoulder. “I’m honored to be your first.”

“As am I to be yours, Rey.”


End file.
